Welcome

2010-12-14T00:11:00.000+08:00

This is just as hard for me.

2010-12-08T22:49:00.000+08:00

It started off with the most trivial matter.
Baby was mad, he turned his back and headed home.
I know he wouldn't be angry with me for long, as he has never been.
He called to say good night, I asked for a good bye.

We broke up.

Still, he said the sweetest things to me, wanting me to be good.
He doesn't deserve such a lousy person like me.
My love is not enough and worthy.

I'm just a selfish bitch.

2010-11-18T23:22:00.002+08:00

I feel you. Things will work out, eventually.

2010-11-17T22:23:00.000+08:00

For our coming first year,

Marina Bay Sands - 12 November

Hard Rock Hotel, Batu Ferringhi Penang - 13 to 16 November

We had a lot of fun, and it was really quality time spent together. Though I have to get mad at him several times during the trip but it all ended up well. Next plan trip with Baby again will be July/August 2011, after my April Taiwan holiday with my family!

2010-11-11T00:51:00.004+08:00

" I just have to say something..
Something I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I have ever said in my life..
I just have to say it once..
You just need to hear it..

I love you..

And that it's because I love you, I can't be selfish with you..
Why you can't know this? I don't deserve you.. "

TVD

2010-10-28T23:20:00.002+08:00

2010 is coming to an end, in a flash. Looking back over the months I realised that I have worked very hard. A year where I transferred into a new team, learning the ropes, building rapport and hating 'nose hair'. A year where differences surfaced and compromises made between me and Baby. A year where I removed my braces. A year where many mistakes were made. I'm looking forward for a big career change, though I'm not quite sure if I can make it out there. I have to change myself, my personality. I've always been caught in this character dilemna which frustrates me. I want to do better, for myself my family and Baby.

2010-10-13T23:12:00.001+08:00

How I wish I could turn back time. So that I could stop her from meeting him.
Happy Birthday, may you walk out of it soon..

2010-09-28T23:17:00.003+08:00

I poured my feelings and thoughts to him the other night. I told him that I felt exhausted and was mostly unhappy during the time we spent together. And I couldn't explain why and I swear, there is no third party. He remains to be patient and is willing to work things out, together with me. At a point throughout our discussion he told me that I don't love him anymore. I couldn't defend myself. I felt he was right, but on the other, I know I don't want to lose him. During the first phase of our relationship, it was evident that I love him more than he loves me, and now it's the opposite. I'm slightly happier now, with Baby trying to give in to me whenever he could. I hope this does not grow my ego and pride, and hope it helps me realise that he's a good person afterall.

Holiday in October is not happening, but my plans to MBS in November should stick.

Went to the Ang Mo Kio market with Mummy last Saturday to exchange some apparels, and god knows it's fate or what, I bumped into Auntie Doris. My mummy is so cute, she thought I greeted her 干妈 ! LOL~

2010-09-19T15:47:00.001+08:00

I'm having doubts with my relationship. I'm trying very hard to make things work. I hope it will work well, otherwise ... ...

2010-09-05T23:39:00.003+08:00

I found that the lyrics of the theme song of The Family Court conveys my feeling to something I read, "原来是放不下自尊的束缚".

2010-09-04T20:05:00.013+08:00

Just had cyber lunch/dinner meeting with Baby. He's in Abu Dhabi having briyani and for me, home cooked food.

He will be home tomorrow and I thought of picking him up at the airport, it's been quite a while since I've done so.

A glimpse of our 9 months' relationship:

Bintan Trip @ 29-31 December 2009

Hat Yai Trip @ 29-31 July 2010

My family joined us to Hat Yai. It was budgeted, free and easy because Baby and Daddy were pretty familiar with the area. We're planning to have another short trip in October but not sure if it's feasible. His roster is quite packed in September so gotta sieze all the days that I could to meet up with him. I'm also going to plan something for our anniversary, hope his roster doesn't clash!

2010-08-31T21:45:00.001+08:00

My fatty arms are aching, after a few games of Wii with Baby.

2010-08-25T00:39:00.002+08:00

It was nice meeting up with Gerrard's mum last Saturday. Received her morning call around 9.20am before heading down to meet her at her usual marketing place. It's very sweet of her to recommend me this stall selling real bargained apparels. Got 2 tops for my Mummy too, and in turn she's interested to head down for shopping! It was an experience never shared before with Auntie, and good to know everyone in the family is doing well. No doubt I did have the 'sah yang' feeling.

I accompanied her for brunch before she heads home to prepare steamboat. Was really tempted by her invitation but I know it wouldn't be nice. I met Uncle Hanxian after that and over our chats, he mentioned he was very worried I haven't got over the past. When he asked, I wasn't able to give a confident yes.

The relationship we had was the best I had, it was the longest too, for now. I can say it wasn't easy at first because of his mum and the differences we shared. It took me an agony of about 1.5 years to get into a better relationship with Auntie. All the anger, unjustification and cries.

I have let go, but it'll never be 100% cos there's memories. I'm sure I'm not taking Baby as my rebounder. Actually I'm slowly building a similar, or I hope better and lasting, relationship with Baby. *fingers crossed

For those whom I told, all felt weird as to why am I still in contact with my ex's mother. I guess there's abit of indebted feeling between us. Yesterday should be the last time I'd receive her call, I also 'paiseh' to call her, and better to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding. I'll miss her, and everyone in the family.

2010-08-17T19:11:00.002+08:00

For the past 2 weeks I wasn't in a very right state of mind. It was the uncertainties, the lack of confidence that resulted in several arguments and unnecessary thoughts. I'm glad to have Baby by my side. He's extremely patient, given the ridiculous nonsense and tantrums thrown at him. I haven't been understanding with the amount of stress he's gonna face, and was selfish to think only about myself.

Looking at my previous post, I have no idea what I'm trying to convey. I guess I was at the verge of going insane. So post deleted!!

Going to sweat it out later~

2010-08-06T18:17:00.000+08:00

Saw this tagline in St James e-newsletter, interesting!

"How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours."

2010-08-05T21:12:00.003+08:00

Had a huge argument with Baby on Sunday. He said and did several things that made me realised a lot. Many of the times, misunderstanding occurs when there's miscommunication. Many of the times, we expect our other one to know what we're thinking. We tend to forget that it takes two hands to clap and when we point finger at someone, four others are pointing back at us.

Have we played our part to make things better, to give and take?

2010-07-29T07:48:00.001+08:00

It's Baby's birthday, and we're heading to Hat Yai, now!!

2010-07-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

Baby's Grandma holding on ...

2010-07-25T03:32:00.000+08:00

It was just another night of smelly tofu supper along Geylang Road. We were just done with the delicious food, about to leave any moment we finished up our drinks. Then came the sound of the squeky wheels, long loud horning and a big bang.

We thought it was a speeding car, not in time to brake and hit another car. But we were wrong. We saw a man, flung up and eventually hit the ground. My heart stopped while I witness everything. It all happened within split seconds. People started to crowd around before my mind could come around. We waited for the ambulance to leave, saw the man's slipper and his pool of blood.

It all happened because the man jaywalked and the driver was speeding. If the man were just to wait a few more minutes at the pedestrian crossing, and the driver were to go 20-30km/h slower, this tragedy could be prevented. Life is so fragile. We're all responsible for our own lives, as well as the people around us. Be safe for yourself, your loved ones and the public.

2010-07-22T21:57:00.003+08:00

I think she's Maxter's sister, Marlene, appearing in one of HSBC's takeones! I don't know the other guy, but he looks like Alex Du!

2010-07-21T22:43:00.003+08:00

I have been having mood swings lately, as though I have premature menopause. Little things get me upset, grumpy. Little things get me over the moon. Baby always said I belong to the sort whereby I allow my emotions to get ahead of me. I don't deny. And I find it frustrating too! Especially this is, sooner or later, going to affect the working relationship between me and Mr Nose Hair.

Many in the office can sense that I really detest him. I believe Mr Nose Hair knows it very well too. A little too many incidents do not justify why I should be nicer to him. And him being thick skinned, he sometimes makes me feel guilty for hating him. Why do I hate him so much?

1. He's super touchy! He likes to put his hands around my shoulder when he talks. Or like to pat my upper arms when he wants to get my attention. Is this a typical habit of a sales person?
2. I didn't call him Mr Nose Hair for no reason. Most of the time he talks to me, I realised he has plenty of nose hair sticking out. No doubt he's born hairy, not his choice, but doesn't he look into the mirror every morning to make sure he looks proper before he heads out?
3. He uses MY personal matter to start off a topic with my other colleagues. PLEASE LAH!!
4. He "murdered" my Hello Kitty keychain. Just away from my side 2-3 days, and it came back dirty and broken into 3 pieces!

HOW NOT TO HATE HIM YOU TELL ME?!

I know that I'm being very petty, but I really can't help it. And guess what, he's nice to get me a birthday present, LeSportsac somemore. But I still feel it's some free gift his wife doesn't need it so he gave it to me! How mean I am, seriously.

Anyway, Birthday this year was pretty simple, didn't manage to do any big celebration, anyway already 26 ^-^". Small party @ dbl-O; dinner with babes @ MOF then @ Overeasy; dinner with family @ Ban Leong Wah Hoe Seafood. Food there is really good, but crabs @ Melben are still better.

Thanks to all who remembered my birthday!
Love all who celebrated with me~ Muackz!

2010-07-03T00:42:00.004+08:00

Don Henley - Heart Of The Matter

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

2010-06-28T01:24:00.003+08:00

I just came home from my colleague's beautiful wedding at Fullerton. Slide shows of their wedding photos, their day event, their love story and the groom's speech deeply touched me. Whenever I meet a bride-to-be, I never failed to ask them how do they know that he is the one. Surprisely the answers are similar, their men give them unconditional love.

Is Baby the one? Or just like the past, it's gonna be a sweet dream that will not materalise?

2010-06-23T07:47:00.004+08:00

I always loved to start my posts with how fast time flies and I do hope it will go abit faster sometimes. No doubt I don't want my family and of course myself to grow old, but there's so many phases of my life I would want to quickly explore into. Take a peek, foresee the events and make decisions that lead to favorable outcomes. So many uncertainties make me fear my daily life.

Work has been smooth sailing. After I finally received my promotion and increment, for god knows reasons, I felt totally demoralized. This new team is full of potential & challenges but the politics is too much for me to handle. At work, or most of the times, I keep to myself which does not benefit me in my progression. Being an introvert & lack of confidence are my major flaws, which also explains why I shut off Baby's suggestion to try out SIA interview this Saturday. Many other reasons also made me dropped the idea including "dating a crew is not easy", how bad will things be if I happened to be in the same line?

Things between me and Baby are alright, we seldom have big arguements. Recently I'm feeling myself drawing away from him. I get tired and angry easily, wasn't impatient with him, I became so "princessy"!! I'm not sure if my actions were resulted from knowing that he and his ex are doing a flight together at end July. But they still meet up occassionally and it doesn't really affect me then. I hope these are all due to my PMS.

I have been feeling very tired. My head is heavy, so are my shoulders. I really need a break. Come July come, may I have a great birthday well spent with my loved ones!

2010-06-06T01:19:00.001+08:00

I'm so excited, can't wait for the Froyo 2.2 OTA updates!
Hey iPhone, Andriod is catching up, real fast!

2010-05-06T00:50:00.000+08:00

Happy events - Birthdays!

iPhone covers for baobei *Ahem, Proudly made myself

Giant Chupa Chups for Sharz~

2010-05-02T23:26:00.002+08:00

It is sad to live on everyday knowing that most of your children are eyeing on your financials. Needless to say, they are eager to know how would the jewellery distribution be like.

Grandma is 79, she has 8 children and no one is providing her a living, except Baby's mother who gives grandma a roof over her head. She is lonely and sad, seeing grandma cry tells how much she wanted to shut her eye and sleep forever, so all her heart pains will instantly turn into ashes.

There is a Chinese saying: 養儿防老. It's not valid anymore.

2010-04-26T19:49:00.003+08:00

It was the first time I saw her, Baby's ex lover for 8 years. It was good we bumped into one another, 'cause from their interaction, I know that now they are just friends. It's nice to see her, especially after hearing so much about her. I think I know why I don't feel too intimidated by her. We were in the same boat, dumped by the man we loved the most, fallen from the most stable relationship. It wouldn't be quite possible to look back when we know very well they won't come asking. Two years have gone by and we're both happy with the new man in our lives.

2010-04-17T16:39:00.002+08:00

It's FINALLY here!

2010-04-12T23:05:00.002+08:00

愛不夠愛你的人才受罪
心甘情願的人原來什麼都能承受

A-Lin, my new favourite.

2010-04-01T21:49:00.001+08:00

It's on its way, on its way!!

2010-03-27T18:51:00.002+08:00

It was a busy day. I went for my monthly dental follow up, and Dr Soh delivered good news. My procedures should be able to complete in less than six months! It's quite a dilemmna actually. It's a love and hate thingy. I think wearing braces makes me look younger, but it's not an easy, or cheap maintenance. After that, I travelled all the way to Ghim Moh to get my eczema medication. Went home to pack my room, do my laundry and mop the floor.

And now I'm all done up to meet baobei for dinner, and then over to Baby's granny's to wait for him to get home~ We're going to get my favourite chocolates tomorrow! ^-^

2010-03-25T21:07:00.001+08:00

When I get real mad, I cry. When I cry, I lose my composure to fight an argument. That night was the first time I got so angry with Baby. All because of his asshole friend. Luckily Baby is understanding enough for that particular matter to speak, he apologised. I would still continue to help him arrange his meet up with his friends, but I would not tag along anymore, or especially if that asshole is around. Call me petty, I don't care. And now, I miss my childish Baby.

2010-03-14T17:34:00.002+08:00

I have been having weird dreams. There's this disturbing feeling, and I hope the people I dreamt of are fine and happy.

2010-03-03T23:03:00.002+08:00

I have finally brought home my family portrait, seeing the same happy smile my Pa is wearing makes my day. Though I'm aware he's very proud of me, but I think I haven't done enough. I want to work hard, learn and grow, however opportunity hasn't knock on my door yet. Sometimes I envy Baby. Given the earning power, I would have bought my Mummy Neverfull, and maybe own a car by now.

Things between us ain't on the bright side lately. It's the same issue again. Whenever he asked if I miss my ex, it implies he's missing his. So much so I have put away this 'problem', he's the one raking it up. I totally understand why he misses his ex, and I don't feel mad because I miss mine too. I feel really confused. I dislike his insensitivity, but I need his honesty. Sometimes I wonder when can we walk out of our past, the shadows, and if we really do love each other.

I am unhappy, with almost everything in my life.

2010-02-16T21:10:00.003+08:00

I am glad that everything is back to normal (almost) for now. Further tests needed to be done to determine if there's no other unforeseen conditions. I am really happy Pa is feeling better and he is back home with us.

There are too many things that I need to take care of, I cannot fix a priority. Work/Money, Family, Relationship, Friends, and not forgetting myself. It's getting a handful.

2010-02-14T00:10:00.002+08:00

As the time struck 12 midnight, I was on my way home from the hospital. It's supposed to be a good time where families share but not for me, not this year.

Happy Chinese New Year to all my friends! May this year be roaring, and may you and your loved ones stay healthy and happy!

2010-02-11T23:30:00.000+08:00

I WANT MY NEXUS ONE!!

2010-02-09T23:53:00.004+08:00

Weekend passed by in a flash. Once again, I went to 'participate' in the annual queue for Lim Chee Guan bak kwa, but this time I wasn't alone. Baby accompanied me down to Chinatown soon after he got back from work. Poor thing as he was awake for more than 24 hours. Though he was grumpy during the first two hours in the Q, he didn't complain much after that. It was really sweet of him. Love love~

2010-01-31T15:06:00.006+08:00

Last night at Supper Club was a blast!! Very much like those China Black days we missed. Though it ended with a very awkward hug, so much so we're still good friends. Things ain't that simple, what happened 5 years ago would remain. I'm glad he understood and would not take it too hard. As what he has mentioned, there's this bond he would never find it with some other girls. Like myself, I also have this bond with the special one, which could be why I would never be able to accept him. We are just never gonna be possible. Me him, or me and him again.

Work has been busy. I have officially transfered to the new team. My new bosses are having rather high expectation of me, and I'm pretty happy with myself that within only 2 weeks, I impressed my boss with my skill sets. 2 months down the road is going to be crucial. My promotion to the next band depends on my work performance. Meanwhile, I need to learn the ropes fast, and understand how the business works, where then I could try to improvise things and make work better and easier for everyone. I'm very much excited to be involved in planning as well in the near future. It's gonna open another new door for my career. Wish me luck!

2010-01-06T23:08:00.001+08:00

4 men groped a girl!
Fucking Indians!!

2010-01-02T18:53:00.002+08:00

Baby arranged a surprise Bintan getaway when he got back from work on Tuesday morning. Just a call to ask me to get ready and meet him at Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal at 1300. He's so sweet, and still very much like a kid. =D

2009-12-26T03:38:00.005+08:00

Baby said something that struck me and reminded me of the times where I was so silly to be jealous and concern of my ex's ex girlfriend. This time round, my "opponent": a 8 years relationship. She was someone special to him. For many reasons she is still going to stand an irreplaceable position, and it would be forever. I was affected by that statement he made, but after much thoughts, I realised I have that very same special one too.

This is one huge problem about women. Jealousy and paranoia make us cranky, over histories which we do not have control or involvement. Why choose to bother about the past, and neglect building a better future?

On a happier note, Christmas was well spent with beloved friends and Baby was around on our very first Christmas! Can't wait for him to be back!

2009-12-08T22:21:00.002+08:00

Kanye West - Heartless

2009-11-30T21:14:00.000+08:00

Sherene?
Jermaine?
Shermaine?

Arghhh~

2009-11-24T23:31:00.005+08:00

I have, once again, fallen for the "dark side". =)

2009-10-21T00:18:00.002+08:00

I still think of him, I still miss him. I feel happy for him when he is happy. I am sad when he is.

And I know he feels the same way for me. I cannot wish for him to let things go, for myself I can't.

He and he are so different.

2009-10-18T17:54:00.003+08:00

解伟苓 - 放逐爱情

有时候我真的觉得好寂寞
虽然你什麽都没说只是紧紧的抱着我
却轻轻对我说我只是普通的朋友
爱的感觉不同付出的爱没有结果

想不透我知道自己没有错
爱你的心忘了上锁傻傻让爱变成一种折磨
你对我一点不在乎我还是爱的不认输
对你的爱我选择了让步

被放逐在寒冷的边际
去学习暧昧不清不是甜蜜
不再理所谓的不公平
静静的离去轻轻的闭上眼睛

想不透我知道自己没有错
爱你的心忘了上锁傻傻让爱变成一种折磨
你对我一点不在乎我还是爱的不认输
对你的爱我选择了让步

被放逐在寒冷的边际
去学习暧昧不清不是甜蜜
不再理所谓的不公平
静静的离去轻轻的闭上眼睛
静静的摆在那里

林峯 - 愛不疚 (粤)

收藏在眼眸常徘徊左右愛猜到沒有
愉快玩笑後能全然退後你開心就夠

這種感覺太親厚講一千句也不夠
假使講了你聽到後或會走
這種戀愛太罕有不須真正擁有
成全衷心祝福然後就放手

放手放開所有彼此更自由
放手其實我絕非愛得不夠
放手豁出所有還有這個好友
已經已經足夠

遙遠是宇宙靜靜在背後去看守就夠

這種感覺太親厚講一千句也不夠
即使一剎有過衝動挽你手
這種戀愛太罕有不須真正擁有
成全多捨不得仍然是放手

放手放開所有彼此更自由
放手其實我絕非愛得不夠
放手豁出所有還有這個好友
已經已經足夠

放手我的牽掛找不到盡頭
放手期望你幸福甚麼都有
也許愛很深厚然而我早看得透
放手至可擁有

萧亚轩 - 坦白

无数个夜晚任性的被你宠坏
我曾想就这样耍赖
如今默默呼吸孤单
失去了什麼还剩下什麼不再等待
面对你慷慨无节制的爱
我该不该勇敢的离开

对自己坦白爱狠狠的还在
找朋友陪伴都比不过你一半
泪在眼里打转爱已变成黑白
找不到答案也不想谎言主宰
对彼此坦白我们真的失败
背叛不是意外就算承诺不再
新欢成了旧爱爱的没了姿态
我会释怀让时间把一切都冲淡

失去了什麼还剩下什麼不再等待
面对你慷慨无节制的爱
我该不该勇敢的离开

对自己坦白爱狠狠的还在
找朋友陪伴都比不过你一半
泪在眼里打转爱已变成黑白
找不到答案也不想谎言主宰
对彼此坦白我们真的失败
背叛不是意外就算承诺不再
新欢成了旧爱爱的没了姿态
我会释怀让时间把一切都冲淡
就让它冲淡

2009-10-15T22:43:00.003+08:00

baobei introduced me a hunk today, Godfrey 高以翔.
Happened to browse over these songs. Nice~

戴愛玲愛靈靈三部曲之一空港

戴愛玲愛靈靈三部曲之二愛靈靈

戴愛玲愛靈靈三部曲之三沸騰

2009-10-07T23:18:00.002+08:00

October is full of happy events. First was Gerrard's birthday, together with good news of lovebirds making up. Coming up is family photo shoot, Trevor's birthday @ Social House, darYing's birthday as well as Celine's 23rd Episode.

Oh man, I felt too old for so many things.

2009-09-23T23:06:00.002+08:00

If time were to pass a little faster..

2009-09-03T22:42:00.003+08:00

To her:

When you point your finger at others, always remember that three others are pointing back at you. Before you start blaming the past or the people/things around you, ask yourself, have you done your self reflection? Whatever the outcome is, you know you have had the option. It's okie to try, if you fall and got hurt, just remember to stand up and embrace it.

2009-08-25T22:30:00.003+08:00

I was having a bad flu since morning. Silly boy got anxious and came to drive me home. He's so silly enough to shower and gel his hair before heading down, so that he is clean and nice when I see him. And so silly to have made 2 bottles of milo for me (1 cold, 1 warm), just in case I have a side of preference.

He has been very sweet.
He listens to every comment I made about him.
He takes every single word of mine seriously.
He praises me to make me feel more confident.
He is attentive to my mood swings and gives in to me.
He is crappy enough to make me laugh all the time.

He tries very hard to regain my trust in relationship.
He makes me feel loved and needed.
And he has been waiting patiently, for me.

I might be falling in love, or have I?
I want to be ready, but am I?
I am afraid.

2009-08-21T23:32:00.002+08:00

Today was a very sinful but joyous day with baobei! We had ice cream buffet at ION Swensens. They are currently having one for one ice cream buffet at $18.90++. Just google and print out the coupon to enjoy the offer. Several ice cream and gelato flavours to choose from, with toppings, waffles and bisuits to go along. They also have cakes and fondue.

Not exactly fantastic due to the need for long Q, we waited for almost an hour. The place is overcrowded, and extremely noisy. Having said that, I still manage to have 1 chocolate cake and 1 cheesecake, 2 scoops of Sticky Chewy Chocolate, 1 Choco Peanut Butterscotch, 1 Choco Brownie and 1 Blackforest. Then tried 5 scoops of Gelato - Lychee, Calamansi, Super Lemon, Raspberry and Bitter Chocolate. Not forgetting, one basket of fries.

Bloated, extensively sugar-ized but happy!

Fear the uncertainty of the future, not the past.

2009-08-18T23:53:00.000+08:00

Long weekends were over in just a blink of an eye! All I could remember was mahjong-ing two days straight. And I get to meet her again, the last was during Chinese New Year. I can't helped peeping at her while she sat besides me, somehow I can see why he falls for her. Most importantly, just a slight awkwardness as our table was really too quiet.

Work hasn't been great. I paid his mum & sis a visit. The silly boy is still by my side, blah blah blah. The rest's rather status quo.

Oh! I took my TP three days back, and I flung-ed! Shall try again about three months later. Wish me luck & fingers crossed!

And I miss my girls! Ying, baobei, hui, xin, sharz etc etc!

2009-07-20T19:57:00.001+08:00

Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong

Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?

Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around (x4)

Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now
And maybe I should do the same
Funny thing about that is
I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you, babe
And now, it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong

Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Can you tell me is this fair?

Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around (x4)

What goes around comes around
Yeah
What goes around comes around
You should know that
What goes around comes around
Yeah
What goes around comes around
You should know that

Don't want to think about it (no)
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it (yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?

Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around (x4)

[Comes Around interlude:]

Let me paint this picture for you, baby

You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call him
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That he's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes

You cheated girl
My heart bleeds girl
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
Girl you got what you deserved

And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right

But girl I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
You'll see

(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey
(What goes around comes back around)
I thought I told ya, hey

[laughs]
See?
You should've listened to me, baby
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Because
(What goes around comes back around)
[laughs]

2009-07-15T23:20:00.004+08:00

One of my birthday gift was the latest iPhone 3G S 16GB White!!

Like I mentioned "was", cos I returned it. It was too expensive for me to accept. I know, I am dumb. =P

2009-07-12T20:56:00.000+08:00

First was graduation night, then was my birthday party! Kinda busy but I had fun! Thanks to all who have came down to Boiler, and all the well wishes! ^-^

Back to shit hole on Tuesday.

2009-07-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

The bazaar at Celine's place was quite a good exposure. The spoilers were the crowds (buyers) and the afternoon rain. Maybe our complaints of the hot sun irritated the ones above. =P It was still a well spent Sunday.

Yesterday was MOF, today was Aquamarine. So sinful but so happy! ^-^

2009-06-24T22:07:00.001+08:00

是谁从我天空摘走了星星
一转眼眉头聚满乌云
从来快乐悲伤都自己横行
忘了我也值得被关心
一双手一个梦一路上不断的俯冲
痛到忘了要怎么喊痛

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想要拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫
漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹

是谁将阳光都剪成了雨滴
天灰了快乐总有限期
从来都陷在孤独的流沙里
忘了我也配被人在意
一个人一直走看着梦像做了又空
精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊

那是谁的温柔留在我的小手
微不足道却那么重
漫长的寂寞把意志都吞没
整个世界是沉默的漩涡
有谁能陪我手牵着手出走
带我离开空洞的星球

还有什么值得追求
还有什么可以拥有
把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖
有谁能带走这美丽的哀愁
能让我相信被爱的理由

2009-06-14T14:32:00.000+08:00

"Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return"

2009-06-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

Time is catching up on me. I feel tired. I feel old. I feel the need for change, yet I can't take the risk of making the wrong step.

I dreamt of him last night. And I pondered upon the impossible. Also, I wonder why can't my words of encouragement and protection be more pleasant to his ears?

2009-05-25T19:41:00.003+08:00

It was a surprise visit yesterday noon. I would never thought that Auntie would come all the way down to give me some of her home made dumplings. But it's good to know she's doing well, and Uncle too! Maybe I should visit them some time soon. I miss her cookings. And, lesson learnt.

2009-05-24T12:14:00.003+08:00

What would you do if the imperfect person turns out to be someone whom you were ever looking for appeared at a time when you're not ready for it?

2009-05-23T23:59:00.001+08:00

Wuuu~ It was hell of a night at Summer's party! I wanted to leave at 1 am but it ended up around 3. I wanted to stay clear of alcohol but I got so wasted. Trevor was such a challenge. Half Whiskey half water. *Puke* I hate the smell and the taste of cheap Whiskey. It wouldn't have been fun if the night wasn't all out and getting wasted, right?. After that all I did was screaming *Drink, "Tah", Drink, You first!*. Hahaha~

Poor Fatty Bom Bom washed up his car for two hours for the mess I made. I totally knocked out once I sat in his car and didn't move an inch while he drove off. It was until he stopped at Novena Square 2 to do some cash deposit, where I became a merlion instantly. There went my dinner, Summer's yummy birthday cake and the horrendous drinking. =P

Tonight is Round 2, and I'm gonna stay 'holy'.

2009-05-10T19:39:00.002+08:00

I went to do my hair yesterday. It turned out 50% of what I wanted, and 50% of what I expected. It was a nice try I feel, and I'm proud of myself! For having the courage to try things that I have been wanting to try since ages ago. ^-^

I'm glad that things with him are going pretty well. It wasn't easy asking him to accept that certain things would not settle so fast, but I really appreciate his respect to my decisions and is still willing to be there for me.

I'm also happy to know that my friends are happier too, except for baobei maybe, due to her need to mug for her coming exams. As for another him, I really don't know how to make things easier for the both of us. I would appreciate a bit more initiative on his part but I guess he's still pretty over occupied to realise that I'm actually waiting for his news.

2009-04-22T22:07:00.000+08:00

Oh, should I cut bangs? Please vote!

2009-04-22T21:20:00.002+08:00

Something is pushing me to go ahead with the application to further my studies. Not sure if it was due to the emotional roller coaster, but I thought that it would be a pretty good idea, provided my bank is willing to invest on me. Just by imagining it, it is already so exciting!

Did I mentioned that I had my piercing done? No, I don't think so. Yes! I have my navel pierced! =D

2009-04-19T03:49:00.002+08:00

Ever since I came back from Hong Kong in late March, I didn't have much time for myself, and not enough time to have good and proper rest. The trip was fun but tiring. After which I was pretty much partying and when you get to know new friends, you would have more activities to attend to. Eating up all the energy that I have, I know I have aged.

It is interesting on how things could turn out very surprising at times. At least I am lucky enough to see the clearer pictures and/or true intention of certain people. I would never forget what happened tonight as it traumatise me pretty badly. But yet, I am happy that I did not make the wrong choice and I stood at my stand.

I'm glad that I have let go and moved on. Come what may, even though I might not be ready, I am excited to see what lies ahead. Life crisis or not, I will embrace it. I will try.

2009-03-08T19:24:00.003+08:00

Christian Bale is John Connor in Terminator Salvation. A must watch!
So rugged, I like.

2009-03-07T13:01:00.002+08:00

你指向远爱情很晴朗
笑问不如今后就我们俩
怕泪会反光钻进你的胸膛
但那不是感动是泪无法储藏
把美梦锁上以为是天堂
羽翼折起在你身边静静躺
却只能用目光在空中翱翔
还的乔装安份靠在你肩膀

放了爱为了爱
这不是我该怎么生活
放了爱你说你喜欢
我笑得开朗你越温柔
我越不想撒谎
我已办不到你想要的那样
客气地配合你我感觉更勉强
别人的幸福何必要模仿
心不在何苦留躯壳在身旁
加满自由我要无重量飞翔
就算以分离收场

放了爱为了爱
这不是我该怎么生活
放了爱会明白
有种拥有叫做放手
我的心为爱流离失所
紧握最后回家的线索
等到寻获真正的我
证明我决定没有错

放了爱为了爱
这不是我想要的生活
放了爱你会明白
有种拥有叫做放手
放了爱我放了爱

2009-03-01T19:46:00.000+08:00

Should I go for belly piercing? Please vote!

2009-02-26T23:03:00.001+08:00

Believe everything happens for a reason.
If it changes your life , let it.
Afterall, it would all be worth it.

2009-02-15T20:04:00.002+08:00

Last night, Jasmine & Maxter, Summer & her boyfriend, their secondary school friends, Ying & Dennis were all at Dragonfly. I got to finally see Dawei! He came down with his brother and Terry. Then came Ronnie, Gerrard and Vivian. A pity that Hanxian and Celine couldn't make it. Yah, it's been a while and I'm glad it all turned out really fun. ^-^

2009-02-11T11:29:00.002+08:00

I'm over the moon~
I passed my BTT and FTT~

Like my Mummy said, the car is waiting for me. Here I come!

2009-02-08T12:27:00.002+08:00

When ever I feel that you are not a bad ass as I thought, I would always found out more disappointing news about you. There is still one last chance, and I really hope that you can prove me wrong. At least, for the sake of our friendship.

2009-01-17T21:26:00.002+08:00

- I cleaned up and packed my room for the coming new year.

- I bought this pair of heels that shine as the sluttest and highest of those I owned.

- I saw Joleen (Gerrard's sister) yesterday.

- I felt lighter these days although work still sucks.

- I booked the hotel for my upcoming family trip, but have yet plan the itinerary.

- I'm looking forward to seeing Ben (the fortune teller).

- I'll be meeting Uncle Hanxian for Red Cliff 2 (heard the show isn't fantastic).

- I'll be going for a hair trim on Wednesday.

- I haven't got my new lingerie.

- And I uberly miss baobei, Ying and all of my friends. Where are you?!

2009-01-11T21:27:00.001+08:00

Today, my brother and I talked. I actually felt relieved and happy.

Happy Birthday, Mummy! I Love You~

2009-01-08T21:19:00.008+08:00

Guess who I saw today in a Taiwan game show? Her name is 小爱.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Surprised? I am.

2009-01-03T17:57:00.003+08:00

I have finally went to see a Chinese Physician regarding to my knee cap problem. My right knee has been feeling like it's 70 years old. When I squat or sit for too long, it aches. 10 minutes of massage and bandage costs me $20. Hope it's effective.

2009-01-02T12:20:00.003+08:00

Happy happy new year! I can't stop thinking that I have to start work on the coming Monday. Errr, and it's rather devastating to know that unemployment rate might continue to increase as the recession is going down to the pit. I hope that I can try to learn to achieve more things at work, and outside. =) I'm all ready for new encounters, be it good or bad. Surviving makes us stronger, yah? =P

Today was supposed to mark four years. Such a waste huh.

2008-12-30T01:05:00.004+08:00

Same uniform, same place but no longer the same person.

How irony.

2008-12-27T16:37:00.004+08:00

Time flies! Only left a week before I need to drag myself to work again. I'm happy that everything falls back to square one. "What if" mode is switched OFF, no more wishy washy!

hey dp, what's your number?

Haha, crazy me!

2008-12-23T11:41:00.004+08:00

"Faith makes all things positive

Hope makes all things work

Love makes all things beautiful"

Saw a card lying on the dinner table when I woke up this morning. From the appearance of it, it's kinda obvious it's from one of my financial consultant. Those were some of the words that were pen in the card. I kinda wonder.

Christmas mood has faded across the years. No longer be able to feel the excitement and joy during the end of every year. BUT I'm definitely looking forward to a fresh and brand new year. Many accomplishments waiting for me to achieve!

I, hereby, wish all well to my beloved family and friends. May love and happiness surround you always! Merriest Merry Christmas! Muackz Muackz Muackz~

P.S. I'm rather proud of my determination to avoid seeing certain.

2008-12-18T22:31:00.002+08:00

I'm really glad that tomorrow is gonna be my last day of work for 2008. I would be enjoying my leaves till I return to work on 05 Jan 2009. Many have asked about my plans but I guess it would just be laid back and simple. Meeting up with my loved ones, be a sleeping beauty and feel the warmth of being home.

Saturday is our beloved pre-christmas dinner gathering! I'm really happy that everyone is joining~ ^-^

Have you consolidate your resolution for the coming year?

2008-12-10T22:12:00.003+08:00

Things aint on the bright side lately, especially for my darYing. We're all trying to learn things through experiences and lessons, be it good or bad. I just hope that she will stand strong soon, and be our bubbly Ying again.

I'm still in the midst of planning where to have our pre-christmas dinner. All the girls have "set themselves free" on the 20 December, after 5pm. Attendees, tentatively, are baobei, darYing, ah pei, xinz, zihui and myself. Is there going to be a theme? Yes, there will. 2 criterias to be checked upon, but I will notify all via email soon. Easy ones, thus need not worry. And stay tuned! Haha.

2008-12-08T19:49:00.002+08:00

My intuition tells me that it's time for a change, but I do not know where and how to start. My shoulders are getting heavier day by day, but I cannot put a finger on where the weights are coming from.

Very soon, it will be 2009. And I'm gonna be fucking 25 years old. SHIT!

2008-12-07T11:36:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging using my new CPU~ Feels great to have programs running faster! Thanks for Mr. MM for driving me to Sitex and helped me with the price slashing. Although it could have been a greater bargain on the last day of the event, I'm still pretty happy with what I got, at least it was a $350 savings against the initial budget I set. =)

Things are getting rather complicated nowadays, especially on the relationship aspects. Hope things are more simplified when the surface is much more clearer.

Next upcoming events: Zouk Out 2008 and Christmas Gathering with my babes! ^-^

P.S. Went to St James & Butter Factory yesterday with darYing & Dennis. I think I'm starting to feel baobei, I felt I have passed the age of clubbing. =/

2008-12-04T22:07:00.003+08:00

I'm enjoying life now, and I'm glad that there are people who love me to accompany me along the way. I am just a little more greedy, and I hope that I could just:

- Have a better career in 2009
- Be loved by someone who loves me for who I am
- Attain my driving license by end 2009
- Grow wise but look young like I'm only 20 (Haha!)

I'm willing to work hard.

2008-11-17T20:46:00.004+08:00

i want to get off shoulders smocked top. Either plain, sheer or flowery. If you saw them in any shops, please let me know! Thanks!

2008-11-15T16:21:00.002+08:00

It was a fun and crazy night!

(minus the mozzie bites)

2008-11-11T22:59:00.001+08:00

The temptation, your secret, her protection.
Broke me down to Simplicity

2008-11-10T20:48:00.004+08:00

There came along this guy who treat me more that I should deserve. For all that he did, all he wanted is to make me happy. No matter how much I have explained myself and assured him, he's unstoppable.

I just want to say that I really appreciate what he has done for me. All the smses, gifts, and especially care and concern.

I am happy now, and I will be happier. ^-^

P.S. Today, he bought me a Hello Kitty from Build-A-Bear Workshop

2008-11-08T22:56:00.003+08:00

Wow wow wow~ Flag day was seriously tiring!! Like baobei has mentioned, we do need to appreciate the efforts of those who helped out in raising funds for societies and needy. We totally felt the "tears" and sweat they have to go through. Especially the foul faces and people treating you like you're transparent.

It was kinda hard to start off at first, 'cos we weren't in uniform and it wasn't quite convincing and easy to approach people. But still, we worked hard for a couple of hours, and raised some funds for the children's society!

It was fun, but not too sure if there's gonna be a second time. Haha! Afterwards we pampered ourselves with healthy Subway together with chocolate chips cookies, as well as fizzy & smoothies beverages at Gelare~

It was indeed a fulfilling day! I'm proud of myself, baobei and darYing~ =D

2008-11-07T20:49:00.002+08:00

tomorrow is flag day! It's gonna be 5 hours of raising funds for the children society. I wonder how would it be like..

"Sir/Mdm, Would you like to donate, please?"

2008-11-06T23:31:00.002+08:00

For all the good saint reasons you gave to end our relationship, nothing is real. Except for, there is indeed someone else. I do not care if she appeared after our break up, but something real is that all you said was BULLSHIT !!

I really wonder how you're going to achieve what you're going to, when supposingly having a relationship was burdening you down. Anyway, let bygones be bygones. I hope that you aint wasting that chick's time, and may you get hitched happily and willingly when age catches up on her.

Seriously, no matter how much you disappointed me, I genuinely wish that you'll be happy. You have my sincere blessings.

2008-10-19T17:14:00.003+08:00

I want to catch this show!

Nights in Rodanthe

The tagline of this movie: "It's Never Too Late For A Second Chance".
Something I would like him to know, but does he wants a second chance? Ha~

2008-10-16T22:24:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry..

I shopped online again.. *Oops*

2008-10-12T13:01:00.002+08:00

Today's gonna be spring cleaning for my tiny room~ and I'm so gonna reward myself with a bag of Lay's Barbecue or Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream. Ha!

It's kinda sad to know that when men get close to you and being nice to you, 90% of them have a hidden agenda. *sigh*

2008-10-06T22:32:00.001+08:00

It's been a month and it's still ever painful..